Another Pic Of Emilee

Well, here is a better pic of Miss Emilee Cheyenne...she's soooo beautiful!!!!!


She looks just like her daddy! And mama and baby are both doing great and are at home now! Yayaya...will post more pics as her mama posts them on myspace!

If You Are Interested...

Just an FYI...in playing around with the settings of this blogger...I can send out updates to about 10 people for when I post a new blog. If you are interested...let me know and I will be happy to put you on that list. Right now, obviously, noone is on that list as I just found this tidbit of info out myself! HaHa!

Don't you just love it when people put an idea into your head, and you get ExCiTeD about it or want to do it, and then when it comes time to actually act on it...they have changed their mind or tell you they don't feel up to it now? Yeah, I do that myself, I know EvErYoNe is guilty of it...but it seems like here lately everything that I want to do, or get an idea put into my head about gets shot down. It kinda hurts. Especially when it's something you truly enjoy doing. Especially when it's something that's more fun to do with someone/friends/others. Or when there is something you want to do, but nOoNe wants to do it with you, and you really don't want to go or do it alone. Well, that's happened three times this week. Yep...three!! Although, one of those times I actually cOnViNcEd them to do it anyway. But it just seems like lately everything I wanna do, noone else wants to do it with me, and personally I'm kinda tired of having to experience the *F~U~N* of these things all alone. Some things are ok to do aLoNe, and are probably better done alone...but I'm not a loner kind of person. I <3LOVE<3 being with people...people I love being around. It's so much more *F~U~N* that way. Anyway...just getting some feelings off my chest. Afterall, that's part of what these blogs are for, right?

Blah Blah Blah

Well, nothing really to report, other than the below update. But I'm BORED and trying to find something to do. Tired of playing games, kinda wanna go somewhere, but kinda don't...ever get those feelings?? Guess I'll go find SOMETHING to do.

Update On Molly Gail

Well, I never got the chance to get up to the hospital to see either baby, but I did get a pic of Molly Gail from a coworker. She was 6lbs 12oz, born Monday Aug 25th around 830a. Here is a pic of her...she's cute as a button!


Don't have any other details, haven't had a chance to talk to Dawn yet, but I'm sure they are all just dandy! I think she looks like her daddy. But still, she looks like a lil doll!

Shhh! I still think Emilee Cheyenne is cuter!

As Promised...

Here is the scan of the bowling printout from Aug 20 when I played such an awesome game~!!

I had to cut it apart with my graphics program and make it just a tad bit smaller so it would fit properly on here...but I am sooooooooooo proud of that game! The others, well they sucked ha ha! Not showing those scores...but I will tell you...one game I did barely get over 100 and the other I didn't break 100 at all. That's all you get! You can see from the scan I had 7 strikes that game...boy I could do no wrong! Now if I can just remember what I did and continue to do that ALL the time, things would be alot better! :o)

Today...

Well, today would have been papa's 56th bday...and as if on cue it's rainy and depressing. Not exactly the biggest help in the world to get us through it, but, then again I can look at it like papa's crying b/c he can't be here to celebrate with us. Mama and I are going over to the cemetary today and spend some time with him, talk to him a little. It's still a hard thing to do, but with each others support, we breeze through it pretty strongly.


It also helps that after I will be a bit preoccupied, as I am working on some family history and need to find some graves of family that are in the same cemetary. So that will help to take my mind off it. It's still hard though after 2 years, and they say it gets easier with time, but for me, it seems like that doesn't really happen.

And another thing that will be helping to push me through...going to see a friends new baby! She was born Aug 25 at 720pm, at 8lbs and 14oz. Little Miss Emilee Cheyenne made her way into this world...almost a week late though! Mama (Keri) ended up having to have a c-section though after being induced sometime that day. So, in her first blog debut, meet Miss Emilee Cheyenne!!

Isn't she beautiful? One of our friends sent that to me last night via txt msg on my phone and I just HAD to send it to my regular email so I could put her on here. Thanks Jamie!

But, she isn't the only one! Well, she is for Keri...but a coworker of mine also had her baby on Aug 25, around 830am. No details on weight, length etc yet on her...will get that info this afternoon when I go see them also. I do know that she is Miss Molly Gail. As far as I know, both mama and baby are also doing ok...Dawn (mama) also had to have a c-section, but she was induced Saturday (Aug 23) around 945pm and apparently was in labor until they decided to do the c-section. Long labor for her, short for Keri. I'm excited about both though and will post a pic of Molly when I get one. So watch for that to appear sometime this evening or tomorrow.

Hopefully the rain part will hold out while we are at the cemetary, so I can take pics of the gravesites to put into the family history. Got alot of info for that, and hope to gain more as time goes by. Well, that's it for now, maybe more this evening or sometime this week!

Just A Rantin'

So, it was yet another bad day...emotionally anyway. I dunno here lately I've been super sensitive to everything and feel as if I could cry at the drop of a pin. Dont know why, or what's causing it. Guess it's just so pent up b/c I dont know what's going on with me and it's finally getting to me. But I just feel as if the whole world is out to get me. Almost like, everything or everyone would be better off if I just wasn't around. No, not thinking that...just maybe that I need some time away from everything and everyone and vice versa. Give it some space, see what happens when I return ya know? I dunno. Maybe once September gets here and I see the doc and we begin trying to figure things out, maybe it will all get better? And ya know what makes it worse? I'm now officially on vacation...hell of a way to start a week long vacation huh?

Anyway, last night (bowling night) I got my best game ever! A 180!! WOOHOO GO ME!!! Boy was I happy!! Oh yeah babe! I will scan in the printout of the game after I get back from the Kenny Chesney concert later this weekend. Yeah, now that's a start to a vacation also!! An awesome concert to kick it off. Then, gonna spend my vaca doing absolutely NOTHING! Or well, what I wanna do when I wanna do it. Well, me and Mama that is. Who knows what we'll do. Talked about a few lil day trips here and there maybe, who knows. Maybe I'll work some on the family tree thingy I just started, do some bowling practice, sleep the whole time...we'll see. So, if I don't post any this coming week, you'll know why! Well, I may come and post the bowling game printout if I get it scanned this weekend.

Stupid Chit

Ok, so I'm really getting tired of hearing snide smart ass comments from people who have NO FRIGGIN CLUE about the pain or discomfort I am in all the time. Not only the snide smart ass comments, but the looks of disbelief as if I'm faking or making it up to get out of doing something or whatever. Well, I got news for those folks...next snide smart ass comment or look like that I get...they will get an earful from me. I'm tired of it. Let them friggin go through it and see how they feel. It's stupid petty childish bullsh*t is what it is and I'm about on my last straw with it!! Most all of you that will read this pretty much know me and know I don't complain about pain or discomfort, even if it's constant.

For instance, today at work, my neck began cramping...pulling my head and shoulder together (so I looked like some kind of gargoyle). Anyway, three different coworkers asked why I was standing like I was and I told them what was going on and all three times I got the snide smart ass comments or looks of disbelief. I'm sooooo about ready to tell anyone and everyone where they can go...and yeah, it's wayyyyyy down south! Wayyyy past the south pole...into the deepest darkest reaches imaginable. No, I won't do that b/c if I do, then they will win and it will give them the satisfaction of getting one over on me and it'll be a cold damn day in hell before I give them the friggin satisfaction. Or maybe I will, just to get it off my damn chest. Hell, I don't know what to do about 'em. I can't keep my feelings bottled up inside, but yet if I let them out, I'll be giving into them. So...I guess I'm just stuck between a rock and a hard place. And I'll just continue to come home and cry b/c I hurt so badly and b/c it hurts that noone believes just how bad it truly is.

Bad Day

Ok, so today was a bad day for me. I just couldn't seem to do anything right. My mind wandered, I couldn't think straight, couldn't hold anything. Yeah, it was a baaaad day. Just felt like crying all day long. But then, I got home and was greeted by the sweetest little baby dog and she just makes all my worries seem to melt away! Let me tell ya...if you have a bad day, coming home to such a wonderful sweet babydog will make you forget your bad day. It's true, dogs are the best therapy in the world! Especially mine! I mean, c'mon how can you resist that face??




You can't right? Well, neither can I!! There's just something about that sweet innocent looking face that just makes you forget about the world around you and focus in on her. So, now, as I'm writing this, my "bad day" has disseminated into space somewhere...adios! I'm relaxing, only thinking about what I have to do tomorrow...the dreaded DMV trip to renew my tags. Then, with a smile, I'm thinking about bowling. Yeah! Tomorrow is league night...oh yeah, I forgot to mention that in my first post. I have been bowling now since the early part of the year. Been on two leagues, both practice leagues, but leagues none the less. Even have Mama into it. We have both decided to continue, and will be joining 2 fall leagues starting the first week in September. Yep, still practice leagues, but hey, we can use the practice! At least I know I can! HAHA! Anyway, that's about it for this post...who knows, maybe I can really get into this blog thing and keep it up on a daily basis...but for now...CIAO~!

Trying This Thing Out

Ok...so I'm gonna try this blogging thing. First timer here, so gimme a break, will ya? I promise though I will try to keep this as updated as possible!!

Let's see, where to start? After daddy passed in April of '06, I decided that Mama and I needed a little more companionship. Not that we don't love having G-dad around, we just needed that extra "bundle of love". So, enter Paisley! Our "babydog".




Here she is about 10 weeks old. This was on the car trip home. Isn't she a doll? We drove for 2 hours to get her!! She has truly been a blessing in our lives and a BIG, and I mean BIG help in getting us through the last 2 years! Even G-dad has taken to her!

What else is new? Oh...Mama and I also made the ultimate decision that she and I alone could not take care of G-dad (as he has gotten up in years), nor the trailer park alone. So, Mama bought a new house and we moved in the spring of '07. Well, we are still in the process of moving a year later. It'll get done eventually, just have a few BIG items left to get to the new house.

I have finally found my career in life...that's right no more restaurants! Yippee!! I am a Certified Pharmacy Technician at a small independent drug store in Pleasant Garden. Went through the chain store ordeal long enough to get all my training and my certification, then split that red tape bs scene!! I'm loving my career, and hey, I'm still in medicine, just a different part of the territory now. I enjoy it immensely and really can't see myself doing anything else! Well, maybe some photography or graphics work...just not skilled enough to go out on my own for that just yet. But, I'm working on it! I love taking photos, especially of "babydog" and nature (including bugs, which seems to be my niche here lately). I'll be uploading some pics to my photobucket sometime (which I just started).

Let's see, Mama's doing pretty good herself. Those of you that know her, know how pigheaded and stubborn she can be about anything. She says she's ok, but I know deep down she's not. She and I both are under alot of stress, but we just put on our big girl panties and go about our business.

However, as for me, it's taken a little more of a toll on me. Over the past 18 months or so, I've been going through some changes physically. No, I haven't lost any weight or gained it for that fact, but I have developed a few things that I'm not quite sure what it is. In February, I was diagnosed with Raynaud's Syndrome. Raynaud's is a type of vasculitis that affects the hands and feet, and in rare cases the ears and nose. It's triggered by cold intolerance, with which the little veins in your hands/feet constrict so as to "warm" up where you are cold, but something keeps them from dilating, so therefore, it looks like I have the hands of death. It's kinda scary at first when you don't know what's going on!!



You can really see the difference in color there. That's what happens to my entire hand when I have an "attack" (as I call it). I've done quite a bit of research on Raynaud's and have learned alot. Since that diagnosis, I have noticed some other symptoms appearing. Raynaud's can be linked to other immunological diseases such as Fibromyalgia, Lupus, even MS. Well, in doing my research, I've found that alot of what I've been experiencing over the past 18 months sounds alot like Fibromyalgia. Fibro is a very hard disease to pin down and diagnose, and they say it takes 2-5 years for symptoms to appear and for a true diagnosis to occur. Well, it's been about 6 months since I began the "process" to determine if that is indeed what I'm going through. The more research I do, the more I feel that is what I have. Muscle cramps and pain that has been consistent for 3 mos. or more, heat/cold intolerance (which, I do have both), general overall fatigue and exhaustion, depression for no reason, not wanting to get out of bed in the mornings, etc. There are alot of "signs" that point to Fibro. Mama has seen the steady downhill slide I'm making physically and seems to agree. And when Mama says "you need to get that checked out", you better believe that something is very possibly wrong. She, nor I, are the type to just go to the doctor for any little thing at all...so, when I began to "deteriorate" physically, we both figured I better do something about it. So, I talked to my doc...in which that's where the Raynauds was found. He also did some Rheumatoid Arthritis blood tests on me to rule out RA or anything like that. All that was normal. So, with the progression of the muscle pain and cramps, the addition of bouts of IBS (Irritable Bowel Syndrome), neuropathy in my hands, etc...I spoke to my doc about possible Fibro. He doesn't want to listen to me. Thinks it's vitamin deficiency. So, for a few months, I did what he suggested and started taking a high potency B complex vitamin and some magnesium. Neither has helped ANY of it. He still won't listen, still claiming the muscle pain and cramps are vitamin related and says the "neuropathy" in my hands is CTS (Carpal Tunnel Syndrome). I know my body and I know it's not vitamin or CTS related!! So, I took it upon myself to make an appointment with a neurologist whose special interest is in Fibromyalgia, as well as a few other "problems" that have developed in the last year and a half. I go September 11 for my first appointment with Dr. Mieden (that's the earliest I could get in). Hopefully, we'll find out just what IS going on with me.

Ok, I think I've gone on long enough for my first entry. I'm sorry, I just get to typing and can't seem to stop! I just need to get all this emotion and feeling out and I guess writing it out like this is what works for me. Hopefully, the next one won't be soooo long!! But I do promise to try to keep it up as often as I can post!!