Rambling

So I need some inspiration in my life. Any one willing to help me out? Any one?

I need an angel to watch over me and guide me where I need to go, where I need to be, and help show me how to get there!

I know I need some sort of guidance in my life right now. I don't know what to do, where to go or how to get there. Hence, needing that guiding angel right now. I'm at a point in my life that I really shouldn't be at. I should be riding high on the rails...but I feel as if I'm under ground...travelling so fast I'm not sure I'll ever be able to slow down and stop. I fear that when I do stop, it will be such a sudden crash that I'll never recover. And that's a scary thought. Crash and burn...I never once imagined in all my life I'd feel that way. No, I'm not at a point of total desperation...but I'm at that point that I feel as if there is no way out of this dark tunnel I'm in...

I see a tiny pin prick of light somewhere ahead, but the closer I get the smaller it seems to get.

This is definitely not where I pictured my life to be at 31 years old! By now, I just knew I would be with the one I'm supposed to be with, having or starting a family of my own and working in the career that I was born for. But, that's not where I'm at and frankly, that kind of bothers me. Am I destined to be alone? Not have my own family? Not have someone to love and to love me back? To always bounce up and down in such a way that I feel the more it happens the further down I go and the less likely I am to make it back to the top?

I try to stay positive, to try to see that tiny pin prick of light ahead of me...but damn it's hard sometimes! Why does it always seem to be me? Why am I always the last one?