So, what to do? Well, basically I have been told that while I am out on disability/short term medical leave that I should probably look for another job. That there is more than likely no guarantee that I will have a full time position available upon my return. That just isn't right, not after all I have done for that freakin company! It's not fair to me. At least, I don't think so!! My pharmacy manager wants me to come back, but he is only a 33 & 1/3 vote in the whole thing. He told me yesterday while we were discussing the "letter" I had to write requesting the disability/short term leave that one of the other "voting partners" didn't want to ensure that position be available upon my return in January. The other wouldn't be back in town until today and they had to talk with him also. So, what the hell am I supposed to do? I can't NOT work. I have to have something with benefits so that I can continue to go through all this medical testing I'll have to endure. I can't afford it and neither can Mama! So, I guess my only other options are to marry that rich man that will take care of me the rest of my life, or hit the lottery! Hell, who am I kidding...I have a better chance of hitting the lottery than getting married, much less marry a rich man! Can ya tell I'm just a teensy bit perturbed by the whole friggin ordeal? It's stressing me out, which is NOT good for me right now.
I just don't know what to do! My life has gone down hill and is continuing to pick up speed...with no end in sight. HELP! I don't know what happened. Everything was going so well for me, and then WHAMMO! I'm knocked into a barrell of sh*t!! And it's hightly doubtful that I'll come up smelling like roses. I never do! Everything that's ever been good in my life has always fallen apart. It's like I'm destined to not be happy for extended periods of time. It just plain SUCKS!
I'm kind of entertaining the idea of going back to school for something, just don't know what. The only other career that I ever entertained was a criminalist/csi. But that's an extremely physical career and I know that I couldn't handle that now. Ten years ago, yeah I could do it..now, not a chance! I'm kinda tossing the idea around of something with digital photography. But what? I know I would need to go back to some school for that...but the main question there is...could I get the grants (not loans) but grants to go to school? Mama suggested something like a receptionist in a doctors office or something like that...I just don't think I would be happy with something like that. It would be nice if I could find something similar where I didn't really have to deal with the public that could give me the benefits I need. Problem is, with all that's going on, I'm not sure just HOW much testing I'll be going through...or how much I might be out due to what I'm going through. I'm not even sure now how long I'll be out on disability. If they can't ensure me a FT position by January, then what? Maybe I just need to pursue going out on permanent disability. A thought I dread b/c that's the last thing I ever wanted to do!!!
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