Yesterday...

Now, keep in mind that the following post actually should have been done yesterday, but I was just too tired when I got home to do it. I wrote it down in a notebook with the intent of transferring it when I got home.

Well, yesterday was crazy...but better than the day before, even though we were a person short all day. There are 3 coworkers I seem to bring out the worst in, none of them were there...and the bad thing about those 3 is one is a boss. Wild? Crazy? Funny? What do you call that?

Let me explain a little about the "vibe" I get from this boss...he's the type that "favors" certain employees over others. Not so much based on the actual work they do, but physical appearances. Yeah, one of those people that think "I'm better than you b/c you don't fit a certain standard" types. The kind of people that I have strived my whole life to get them to see "Hey! There is more to me than my physical appearance." Just b/c I don't look a certain way or have their money or whatever doesn't mean I'm not worthy! I can work just as hard, I am just as smart (although I feel I'm smarter simply for the fact that I don't judge people like they do, but that's just my opinion). But this little rant isn't about me, it's about this boss. How can they expect an employee to be happy in their job when they have one boss that makes multiple employees feel this way? I know I'm not the only one that does feel that way...I know of 2 others, but doubt they would admit it to anyone else, like another boss (which I HAVE done!).

When I started this post, it was before work...as of this paragraph, I'm on lunch. Needless to say, the prior boss I was talking about has had his ass on his shoulders all freaking day! And I have been trying for a long time to be better about some things and keep MY 'tude in check, well that's hard to do when this boss has his ass on his shoulders (towards just me it seems!) For whatever reason, I feel as if he doesn't like me and pulls this crap which puts me in a bad way and then he flippin' has the BALLS to tell my other boss that I'M the one with the problem and I get yelled at for it!! I do love my job, really, but my toes are on the edge of finding another job elsewhere! I don't want to leave where I'm at, I've worked too hard to get here! But I'm almost to the point of telling them it's me or him (and I know without a doubt they would choose him over me!)

Of course, all this "negativity" is not good for me physically b/c it puts undue stress on my muscles, which makes me hurt worse...and of course, doesn't aid the 'tude! I woke up today hurting but was determined to have a good day anyway. Yesterday was the same way, but I did have a good day. Todaay...that's freakin' impossible! And it's NOT my fault! Dammit, why can't anyone believe me when I tell them ANYTHING?! I try to explain to my other boss when I'm getting yelled at that it's not entirely ME, but no, it's going in one ear and out the other! Just like with my doctor about my health!

I know one shouldn't say "never"...but I NEVER had this problem until this one boss came to work here! And noone else can see that. What's wrong with this picture? Every-freakin'-thing! I don't know what to do! I'm scared for my health, of a possibility of finding something worse than what I suspect. I just don't know how to deal anymore! I'm tired of spending my lunches crying or upset over this b.s. I'm tired (as I'm sure Mama and G-Daddy are) of going home at the end of the day and snapping at or taking it out on them. I honestly don't mean to put them through that, but it's happening more and more lately. I don't get paid enough to put up with that crap!! And my family damn sure doesn't deserve to be treated this way by me!!

Ok, lunch is just about over, so we'll see how the rest of this day goes. Maybe the ass will have his ass off his shoulders when I go back on shift...but I'm not holding my breath!!

Ok, now it's 7pm and I'm sitting here finishing up this post before I head home. The rest of the day was better b/c about an hour after getting back from lunch, the ass left for the day! Yeah baby! Needless to say things were better! So I'm gonna leave it there and end this post on a better note. Ta-Ta for now!

So once I got home, I talked with Mama about the days events and felt even better. Though today, I'm definately feeling the stress I was under yesterday in my muscles. I didn't want to get out of bed this am...but I forced myself to and go to the store with Mama. I didn't even feel like typing up this post...but I have to force myself to do these things. This is the kind of thing I go through on a daily basis. My arms and legs are just soooo weak right now it's all I can do to sit here. Well, that's all for now...more next time.