My Heart...

Ok, I said in my last post I would touch on the "issue" with my heart (no, nothing medical).

I'm kind of at a loss...

See, there is this guy that I'm interested in. And he has shown signs of interest in me. I have taken those signs and I have hinted and made it more clear from my end that I'm interested and would like to maybe see where a relationship might take us. But, here's the problem. Whenever I say something a little more direct, he clams up and stops talking. Well, mostly we text at this point, but when we are together (on the rare occassion that is), we can't be alone enough for me to actually talk to him about it...or he "ignores" me except for a few minutes when I first see him or through out the night. Anyway...

This past Friday, I did venture out (but only b/c I had some serious prodding from 2 friends, 1 of which is this guy). Anyway, one of the friends did'nt show up after trying all day to get me to go out. So, I go up to my haunt, a little bar called Szarka's, and met him up there. Of course, some of our mutual friends were there...well, I met them through him, but we all became friends. After all the "how are you's" and "where have you been's" we settled into the routine of the bar scene. If you've ever been a bar hopper you know what I mean...watching the rest of the pool tournaments or listening to the DJ do his thing or watching and listening to the karaoke singers try to belt out a tune...all while drinking, chatting and having a good time.

So, he's happy to see me when I do walk in...even though he ignored my texts just before I got there...and we do the usual and hug and all. But anyway, except for like 5 little minutes, he basically ignores me all night. He does occassionally take a peek my way (by the way, we're all sitting together). Well, I need to go back a bit, he did offer me his stool when I got there. So on to it further...it's late into the night and most everyone else has left the bar except for our little grouping and a few scatters up at the bar. He's standing at the end of the bar, getting one of like 2 last drinks before last call (yeah, it's that late ha ha) and I walk over to him and asked him why he was ignoring me all night. He claims he wasn't and I told him he did, except for like 5 little minutes when I first walked in and when he put his arm around me asking who he should bet on in a pool game (little rinky dink bet of $5 LOL). He denied it a second time and I told him again he did, then turned and walked off and headed for the girl's room.

Then...when it was closing time and we were "packing" up to leave, he had been up at the bar and then just walked out and didn't tell me bye! Of course, I don't think he told any of the others bye either, but still...he used to always make an attempt to tell me bye. I sent him a text on my way home about it, haven't heard anything from him all weekend. So, I'm talkin to Mama this morning about it (as she and I have discussed this numerous times) and decided that I would send him a text telling him I needed to talk to him and to let me know when we could get together.

I'm not sure what to do. I think he's afraid of me for some reason...which he has no reason to be!!

He's such a sweet heart too! Last week when I was having a bad week, he had texted me that day and I told him about it. The next night he texted me again and asked if I had a better day and hoped I was feeling better. He does little things like that. He's just a doll! He's a very caring person, with a super huge heart. Whether he wants to believe that or not, is a different story. He's also very special...though he thinks he isn't. Like the Brad Paisley song goes..."You think you're one of millions but you're one in a million to me; When you wonder if you matter, baby look into my eyes; And tell me, can't you see you're everything to me". Something like that...he means alot to me and he's someone that I would like to get to know better than what I already know. I don't know if he reads this or not, but if he does...well I think he knows who he is and what I want to talk to him about. If he doesn't, well, I guess he'll find out if we do ever get to talk.